Bree
The calendar moves us out of a holiday weekend and into recognition that five months ago today, we learned that our worst fears for Stephan were actualized. The fact that he actually left us forever the day he disappeared at the end of November never softens the feeling of loss that comes to me on the 6th of each month, for that is the day all hope was dashed and the truth had to be faced.
I look into the face in the pictures on this site and the ones I have here at home, and it is still unimaginable to me that I cannot see my special brother, friend and co-conspirator in silliness. To keep on saying I miss him does not even glance a blow at the depth of my sorrow.
To Nancy, Ed, Neil, Pat, Solveig, Lori, Michael...and the many, many people I know and do not know who loved our Stephan, we are connected in heart and spirit and the love, support and strength among us is so much more than any of us alone can muster. Let's always remember that not one of us is alone in this grieving. And that it will not lightly slip away and give us normal days and nights, hopefully, someday Stephan's love from wherever he is, and the care and peace we
offer one another, will eventually give us back some sense of it being okay to be here without him...a feeling I know is a long way off.
For now, know that I send you my love, support and wishes for peace in your hearts. Somewhere, Stephan is enjoying the summer sun and working on his tan. I wish I could bring him a cool drink and a cookie. But maybe, where he is, there are all the comforts he needs and he is happy to know there is so much love still here on this earth, vibrating through the universe to him. So, have a good summer day...eat some watermelon, fly a kite, play with children and dogs...and he will be there.
Much love,
Bree