Bree
Tomorrow is the two-year anniversary of Stephan's passing...how can that be so? And how can it be that time has its own experiential space, in which some days, weeks, months feel like years and years, and other years seem like days gone by in a flash? Grief and joy so color our experience of the passage of time...and today the whiz of time flying by and the screech of time's brakes collide, and I am all at once in a moment that seems millenia ago, and in it, Stephan is dancing his mom around the cabin in Maine, and I am laughing and taking pictures. Other such moments pop into my mind, so many photographs turned into a slide show in my head, spinning up the tales that caption them. And yet time stands still and I have no defenses against the losses that are, for these minutes, acute and aflame with sorrow and fury. It has not been a great year for me. I am rootless in a way I have not been since my 20s, and oh, how long ago that was! But I must hang on to the perfection that is the love among my friends and family and me. My beautiful daughter just drove off for her trip back to Santa Monica after a week in the Bay Area. She and her 4 mo. old puppy filled my little cottage with giggles and fun and love. I am grateful beyond words for that, for you, and always, for our Stephan.